So, you’re looking into your next international vacation destination, and Greece has found its way onto the shortlist. Well, we’re here to tell you that you can safely take Greece right off! There’s no reason that you should ever want to visit Greece. In fact, there are 15 hard-and-true reasons that you should never visit Greece… Ever! What’s that? You’ve seen pictures, heard stories, and think that we’re dead wrong about all this? Well, la-di-da! How about you take a look at the reasons we’ve put together before you pass judgment. We’re sure you’ll be convinced.
1. History Is Boring
www.theguardian.com
Think back to when you were in high school. What was the most boring class you took? It was anything having to do with history, of course! Who wants to learn about the way life used to be lived, given that we’re all living in the present day? No one, that’s who. Well, get this: Greece is home to some of the oldest history in the entire world, and you’re literally going to be surrounded by it if you ever vacation there.
2. Intimidating Architecture
www.archeologyvirginia.com
Part of “appreciating†that history – as if such a thing were possible – is in admiring the ancient architecture that abounds in Greece. The country is literally covered in ancient ruins, and they all have something to do with some kind of ancient civilization you would’ve learned more about, had you not been updating your Facebook in the back of history class, of course. If you didn’t learn about it all then, then why start now?
3. Home Of The Olympics
www.eslchestnut.com
Every four years, the world turns its weary eyes to the Summer Olympics. Maybe you’ve been avoiding it like pretty much everyone else? Well, let us paint a picture for you. It’s an event where the best athletes from around the world come together to compete in sports that you’ve never heard of before. Well, guess what… The Summer Olympics as we know them today literally got their start in Greece.
4. Mediterranean Beaches
www.visitgreece.com
You’ve heard about Mediterranean beaches right? They’re the absolute worst! And, get this: Greece is literally covered in them! From pretty much anywhere in the country, you’re never that far away from them either, making escape nearly impossible. Who would want to spend time on those pristine white sands, surveying the crystal clear waters? Absolutely no one would, that’s who…
5. Clear Water
www.extremesportsingreece.com
And that’s really the thing about the beaches in Greece. At most of them you might visit, you’re going to discover just how crystal-clear they are. Like, you can actually see through the water. And, hey… That sounds like a good thing at first, we’ll grant you that. But, think about it more! If you can see through the crystal-clear waters, then that means you can see all of the aquatic life that lives in that water. Gross!
6. Lush Countryside
www.flickr.com
So, you’re going to avoid all of those beaches in Greece, right? You know, the ones with the pristine white Mediterranean sands and the crystal-clear Mediterranean waters. To do that, you’re going to have to head inland, and boy do we have bad news for you! The countryside in Greece is absolutely lush. It’s, like, literally covered in beautiful plants. Sure, you can look at it, but do you want to walk through that?
7. Too Much Alone Time
www.greektravel.com
Who wants to go on vacation to get away from people? If you’re going on vacation, you want to go to a place that’s more crowded than where you live, right? You want to feel the press of humanity all around you… While there are a few places you can get this experience in Greece, you’re more likely to find those aforementioned beaches are largely deserted. Oh, and then there are those quiet, sleepy towns… Woof!
8. Athens
www.tripadvisor.com
Hey, remember earlier when we were talking about how Greece is literally steeped in history and covered in amazing ancient ruins? Well, Athens, the country’s capital, is literally the epicenter of all those things. If you have to find yourself in Greece, then be sure to avoid Athens at all costs. Otherwise you’re going to have to take tours of some of the most famous ancient structures in the world.
9. Museums on Museums
www.mn.us
You know, it’s not simply enough for the Greeks to live in a country that’s covered in ancient history… They also have to build world-class museums that’s pay tribute to that ancient history too! It’s bad enough that you have to deal with all that stuff when you’re just walking around… It’s even worse when you have to go to these air-conditioned museums and look at artifacts that are literally millennia old.
10. Authentic Gyros
www.jaxgreekfest.com
Some people think that Americans tend to pervert ethnic cuisine. We think differently. Instead, we believe that Americans perfect ethic cuisines. Have you had an authentic taco? Well, compare that to your favorite Gordito from Taco Bell, and then tell us which one is better. If you go to Greece, be prepared to have authentic gyros, which are just as different from the ones you’ve had as Taco Bell is from authentic tacos.
11. Greek Cuisine
www.gi365.co
But, look. There’s a whole hell of a lot more to Greek cuisine than gyros. As it so happens, they eat a lot of different things, many of which may be unfamiliar to you. For example, they’re really fond of making these “refreshing†salads that combine ingredients like farm-fresh tomatoes, red onion, Kalamata olives, feta cheese and balsamic vinegar. Yeah. It’s pretty much as gross as it sounds like. Skip!
12. Artwork
www.china.cn
The thought of having to eat Greek cuisine is making us nauseous. Does anyone have some McDonalds or Taco Bell that we can chow down on to settle or stomachs? No? Okay, well let’s start thinking about something else then… Like that Greek artwork. Have you seen their statues? They’re like… Well, they’re too, like, you know? Like, come on Greece, can’t you, like, do something else? Or something… Plus, artwork! Snoozefest!
13. The Greek People
www.greekreporter.com
You know, you’ve probably heard some rumors about the Greek people. Maybe you’ve heard that Greek women are uncompromisingly beautiful? Maybe you’ve heard that Greek men are incredibly masculine and handsome? Well, we’re not here to dispel those rumors, because everything you’ve heard is absolutely true. But, get this: How are you going to deal with the average-looking people where you come from after you’ve seen what Greece has to offer!?! Did you ever think of that?
14. Hobnobbing With The Rich And Famous
blog.travelchannel.com
Oh, and get this. Celebrities absolutely love Greece. Specifically, they love the Greek Isles. Perhaps you’ve heard of this place called Mykonos? Well, if you’re ever there, be prepared to see more celebrities than you might see in Beverly Hills. And… Guess what they’re doing while they’re there… Partying, that’s what they’re doing, and you can party with them. Who on Earth would enjoy something like that?
15. Just Don’t Go
www.royalcaribbean.com
Look, haven’t we driven the point home already? Greece is one of the oldest countries in the world, so if you go there, then you’re going to have to deal with the history and architecture. They also have this authentic cuisine that people seem to love, but come on… Eat at Arby’s! Oh, and partying with celebrities surrounded by handsome and beautiful Greek people? No thanks! Why not just stay where you are, right?
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